A new week, a new story, where the #MyXXFLY team set out on a mission we deemed the “cute shoot”. We had a marvelous time last week at the beach, but after the shoot was said and done, MyXXFLY photog, designer, and resident hunk Frank, gave me some model direction. Evidently, I don’t exploit my “cuteness” enough; see model Yesenia and every day Yesenia are two pretty different babes. The fly, confident broad who founded MyXXFLY, may appear in the final blog edit. But the raw film? The insecure model creeps in to a lot of those. So for this shoot, I decided, fuck the model.
We set the stage for the cute shoot: heart-printed circle skirt (with motherfucking pockets no less), a purse straight from Nicaragua (la tierra de lagos y volcanes), and studio grade headphones that I’ve had since high school. Then? Miami Summer happened. See, the glamour of Miami Summer exists during magic hours at the beach, and on glossy magazine pages or poolside behind instagram filters. The reality? Summer is our rainy season and the threat of heat stroke is too real (humidity index 1 million). We drove through the downpour, locations now limited, in search of something fly with an awning, but fate did us one better. Before spotting Lighting Paradise the rain was torrential, our photographer was ready to throw in the towel, but I did not wing out this eyeliner for nothing sugarplum. Then we saw it, paradise indeed! The parking situation covered the front half of the car, allowing us to the shop window of Lighting Paradise unscathed; there were stairs, and sidewalk, and lights, and calle ocho. The rest of the shoot? Magic. The shuffled playlist was jumbled perfection, it was humid, impossible to hear each other, and a mess of creative unfathomable fun.
See, there’s always a face we use for any given occasion. Professionally, romantically, when we’re amongst friends or rivals, or when we’re alone with ourselves; we are never the same. The nuances of ourselves amplify given our situation, for better or worse. We label the good and bad, we label ourselves, we let others label us. But through mindfulness we can own our descriptors, realize where we need improvement, and turn pejoratives into compliments.
I sometimes choose to hide behind a mask of “model”, to hide the insecurities bubbling inside. I still struggle, to love my fat body with more vigor than some people hate it. To be the uninhibited little girl, who would pose for her grandparents camera fearlessly proud of her fat belly and thick thighs; before I started to doubt their inherent beauty. MyXXFLY manifested as a reclaiming of love for our bodies, ourselves, and our planet, through shameless self love and sustainable fashion. As my journey in self-discovery and mindfulness unfurls, the faces may change, but the soul stays the same. I am Yesenia Guadalupe, a proud child of immigrants, a fat, often silly, unapologetically imperfect, grown-ass kid. Everyday I strive to be better, kinder, and wiser than the day before. That’s how My XX is Fly, what about yours?
