All bellies are good bellies.
As 2016 rolls to a close, the resolutions will start pouring in. You’ll be inundated with best of lists, the year in retrospect, and guides on how to make 2017 your “best year ever“. If you’re like the millions of people who make a resolution every year, you’ll start thinking about your own year in retrospect and then the future ideally, in a hopeful light. Among the dreams of travel and wishes for financial stability there will be the one resolution that tops the chart every year, in fact it’s probably on your list too and it sounds something like “2017 will be the year I reach my goal weight.” For the majority of my life, I followed the yearly tradition and made my own similar resolutions. Sometimes I kept them, other times I didn’t, but there was always something I wanted to change. Usually? My body.
For as long as I can remember there have been good bodies and bad bodies. Thin and lean, muscular and athletic. The bodies you see on your favorite sports or movie star, these, are definitely the good ones. These are the bodies we are taught to emulate, these are the bodies which will bring us that ever elusive, life affirming thing called happiness. Because after all, how can anyone with a good body have anything but a good life?
Bodies like the ones I grew up seeing on the women I loved, the ones with extra folds and lumps, with stretch marks and skin that tells a story, these were bad bodies. These bodies are utilitarian, and are not only undesirable “bad bodies”, but also, “sad bodies“. If advertising is any indicator, people with bad bodies are generally unhappy, but don’t worry! You can always change a bad body into a good one through diet, exercise and maybe even a few nips and tucks.
While the body positive movement gained some traction in 2016, millions of dissatisfied men and women will still vow to change bad bodies into good bodies. The weight loss industry will be handsomely rewarded as billions of dollars pour into gym memberships, personal trainers, dietary supplements, nutritionists, weight loss programs, fat free foods, low-cal alternatives, pills, patches, waist trainers, exercise equipment, and any product they can dream up and convince you to buy through the promise of your number one wish for the new year. Losing weight.
The Industry
Come January you will find friendly faces everywhere. In magazines, on billboards, in ad space while you YouTube, all of which will promise to hold the key to unlocking your dreams! How lucky. Yet, despite the number of companies dedicated to helping you achieve your “best self” and the hundreds of “healthy food options” given to consumers, obesity rates continue to climb in the United States. We go to the gym more than we ever have, but we’re still more fat than we’ve ever been. It makes no sense if you’re doing the math, right? Shouldn’t we be making strides by now? Well, it depends what math you’re doing. For the weight loss industry, it adds up just fine; mo money, mo money, mo money. Think about it for a moment; why on earth would a consumer-based economy torpedo one of their biggest money making machines for the benefit of your health? Simply put, they wouldn’t. Your unhappiness, is their wealth.
As most adults who have ever “dieted” can tell you, we know exactly what to do to lose weight, we’ve lived and breathed the weight-loss rhetoric for decades. Eat healthy and exercise, how can two simple things be so hard for millions of people? Why is losing weight still number one on our list of New Years resolutions when we know what to do? Well, as I learned more about how the food industry is fraught with misinformation, about government subsidies on unhealthy foods, about general nutrition, and about myself, I realized the pitfall of the resolution to lose weight. We are resolving to lose weight through sheer force of will without addressing the pervasive environmental factors that make it so. Each individuals story is different, but if you live in America, the consumer-based system that encourages our over-indulgence, and our apathy to what comprises the foods we eat, doesn’t help your cause. Then to make matters worse? Society worships physical appearance, and teaches us that what we look like is more important than who we are.
“Oh how typical, a fat girl blaming society for being fat, take some responsibility..” and yada yada yada. Listen up bruh, our lives do not exist in a bubble, and by knowing in what way the deck is stacked against us we can start to shape our lives in a way to counterbalance the system. If you’ve been a fan of our blog for a minute, then it is no secret to you that technology, city planning, and our ties (or resistance to) consumerism shapes our quality of life, mental health, and relationships. Instead of resolving to lose weight once a year and then falling off somewhere around March to struggle until December and then start fresh again in January, why not resolve to know ourselves better? How about to love ourselves more? Or to be conscious consumers?
All Bellies Are Good Bellies
Now I’m sure taking advice on losing weight from a fat girl is a hard pill to swallow, but stay with me fam. I’m not shitting on your free-will, or on your desire to improve your health, and I’m not trying to discourage you from making positive lifestyle changes if that is your goal. I am simply here to tell you what I wish I had known every December 31st before resolving to do something that didn’t pan out. What you do every day, is more important than the goal.
For the entirety of my life, I have been overweight. Sometimes I’ve made resolutions in December (or May, or August), about how I will lose the extra weight that has come to be as much a part of me as my brown eyes. Many times, I even succeeded. “This is it!” I told myself. Change your appearance, and you’ll change your life. I wanted my round Winnie the Pooh belly to disappear, I wanted to get rid of the soft fat of my inner thighs that existed even in photos of me as a 1 year old in a bathing suit. When those pockets of fat vanished, I convinced myself, everything would improve. Other times my success was rooted in hate. I’ve been a fat girl with an eating disorder who lived a life of deprivation, and punishment. One who would actively say scathing shit to myself when I broke my diet. I taught myself to hate my fat body so much, that even when I eventually lost the weight, I still hated it.
Turns out “will-power” wasn’t the problem after all, so I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture. Contrary to what society and the weight loss industry would have you believe, your weight, and your body are but a small aspect of the many moving parts that make up your life. The key to your happiness is not tied to a goal weight. You cannot hate yourself into being “better”, and changing your appearance will not improve your quality of life if you are damaged on the inside. The only thing that truly matters is what you do now, and what you do in the now is in large part shaped by your perceptions of yourself.
In the words of Yesika Salgado “All bellies are good bellies.” Drill positive affirmations into that thick head of yours every fucking day. Wake up, and love the shit out of yourself. It will be incredibly difficult at first, and even after years when you feel you’ve got it under control, something may shake your confidence again. Don’t let it. Dare to be conspicuous, stop hating your perceived flaws, beware of the institutions set up to make money off of your unhappiness, and stop apologizing for your body. Then? Strive to reach the place where you don’t place importance on your physical appearance anymore, the place where your gifts and purpose reign supreme. When I learned to love the discoloration of my skin, my sagging belly, and the fat bulges on my back, these things stopped holding power over me. When I stopped tying my worth to what my body looked like, I started living the life I thought only thinness could bring me.
And that was it. The end of making resolutions, and the beginning of knowing my worth, and living mindfully in the body which I now see as a gift. The insecurities which I sought to hide, which paralyzed me for most of my adolescence dissolved. I started using my money as a tool for protest, broke free of the mentality that external things would bring me happiness, and started shopping small or not at all. I learned to appreciate every part of my body and started to take better care of it out of love instead of hate. I improved my quality of life independently of my weight, by focusing on the importance of community, personal fulfillment, and spirituality, because wellness extends far beyond the scale. Whatever your goals are for 2017, whether you make resolutions or realize that positive change is possible without the need of an arbitrary date, make sure that love and kindness permeates every intention you have, be your best self every moment of every day, and remember to always keep your double-x fly. Until next week, love yourself as much today as you hope to in 2017, and Happy New Year!
