Gift-giving is one of life’s great pleasures. It is a beautiful expression of gratitude for someone who (hopefully) enriches your life and brings out your best self. So as the holiday season rolls around with its Black Friday door-busting, 80% off, blink or you’ll miss ’em, #FOMO inducing, Cyber Monday, “once in a lifetime” sales, it’s easy to feel like you MUST get in on the action.
The thing about sales is, if you didn’t need the item you’re buying to begin with you’re not saving anything. In the U.S. where there are more shopping malls than high-schools, households are filled with upwards of 300,000 items on average, and credit card debt is up $45 billion dollars since last year for a grand total of $829 billion overall, how much more do we really need?
The key to capitalism is breeding a society of consumers, where no matter what we already have, we will always want something newer, better, or faster. Instead of using things until the end of their life cycles, we discard them quickly. Instead of buying intentionally, we shop for fun. This system, while good for business, exists on a principle of infinite production. The problem? The Earth is a finite space with limited resources, and so infinity and capitalism can never coexist.
So what alternative to gift-giving is there when you don’t want to contribute to this system?
If you absolutely love the process of gift-giving and cannot imagine the holidays without presents under the tree or on your mantel, why not opt for items that will improve a friend’s quality of life? If your friend buys disposable water bottles every week, consider buying them a water filter. Maybe someone in your life uses their vehicle for travel all year long, offer to pay for a year of roadside assistance. My favorite alternative gift however, is one that uses the only resource in this life that really has any value. Sure, physical gifts are easier to wrap, but the greatest gift you can give someone is your TIME.
Whether it is preparing a favorite meal for a special night in, or going on a full-blown adventure of your own definition, ask yourself, what memories can you and your loved ones make together? From visiting a favorite author at a book reading in town, to enjoying a concert together, or international travel, the possibilities are endless and can fit into any budget! Maybe your friend has always wanted to sing in front of a crowd but hasn’t worked up the courage to do so yet, why not invite them to a night of karaoke? Perhaps your sibling has always wanted to take a salsa class but hasn’t gotten around to it, schedule to take a few classes together! Are there any local businesses that can help you create the experiences your friends and family will love? Favor women, LGBTQ+ and BIPOC owned-businesses in your community and give a gift while simultaneously boosting your local economy!
All I’m saying is, avoid the temptation to spend on Black Friday, or Cyber Monday, or any other occasion where gifts are expected. The frenzy with which consumers treat “retail holidays” is fueled by fear. A fear of not being good enough as you are. A false belief that there is something outside of yourself, a pair of shoes, a piece of jewelry, a new car, that will make you better, or attractive, or more worthy. There is nothing you can buy that will bring you sustained happiness. Only love, gratitude, and community can scratch that itch. So tell me MyXXFam, what are your favorite kinds of gifts to give and receive? Let me know in the comments and until next time, think outside the gift-box, and keep your double-x fly!