Welcome MyXXFam! I’m Yesenia Guadalupe, your fly, fat, Nicaraguan-American hoe-mie. I’m thrilled that you find yourself on this little corner of the internet today and hope you can find exactly what you’re searching for here. So you want to know more about MyXXFLY (my-double-x-fly) huh? Well, I created this space in 2016 alongside my nesting partner, Francisco, to highlight sustainable and vintage fashion, create fat, queer art, and practice healing through story-telling.
So how does style, fatness, and community exist in harmony here?
The MY in MyXXFLY is a reference to self-reflection. In a world where we are always being sold an external remedy for happiness, where we are taught to chase status symbols and value things, knowing thyself is powerful. A lot of our work is personal, because that’s the lens through which our experiences are filtered. We hope that by sharing our stories openly and authentically, you’ll become curious about YOU.
So take a deep breathe, grab your journal, and take some time to answer: “How do I feel about myself?”, “How would I describe myself to someone who doesn’t know me?”, “What are my values?”. If you don’t know the answers to these questions yet, this space is an invitation to practice curiosity and start getting to know the REAL you.
The XX (double-x) in MyXXFLY is a reference to fatness. In my personal journey toward self discovery, fatness was the great hurdle keeping me from accepting, knowing, and eventually loving, my whole self. In a systemically patriarchal, racist, and capitalist society, affirming that my life has worth regardless of ability, shape, color, gender presentation, or size (not in spite of it) is a powerful act of resistance. Body politics are a vital component of MyXXFLY because as a fat, brown, queer, non-binary, womxn; navigating the world in a marginalized body effects my day-to-day life, access, and experiences.
XX (double-x) in mathematics, is also a variable; the unknown. Not everyone who enters this space will relate to fatness in the way that I do, but everyone will have that thing about themselves that is begging to be healed; the double-x. What toxic programming have you picked up in your lifetime that keeps you from being your full, authentic self? What are you lying to yourself about? What is making you feel less-than?
Finally, there is the FLY in MyXXFLY. Embracing the parts of myself that society taught me to hate, unlearning the destructive patterns and dehumanizing language I once used to describe myself, and using personal style and art to celebrate my body is how I am FLY. Personal style was just one tool I had access to, and celebrating my body and authentic self through adornment helps give me the confidence I need to go out into the world and find my people.
As time goes on my style, work, and life, has become more intentional, and that is the ideology we uplift in this space. That is how are free, that is how we fly.
For me, sustainable fashion or, any that lessens negative man-made impacts on our planet was the domino that started the chain reaction of living fully, intentionally, and mindfully. Of honing my focus on the things that matter to me. I don’t know what domino needs to fall so you feel worthy, and part of something bigger than yourself, but I hope the spark finds you friend.
All the looks that are styled and shot for MyXXFLY feature thrifted and/or small business friendly items. Why? Because textile-waste is only second to oil as the most polluting industry on earth, we don’t have to buy new shit to be fulfilled or look and feel fly as fuck, and circular economies are not only good for the environment but for the soul. Using our resources to support small business owners versus faceless corporations connects us to our communities and humanity in a way that is transformational.
Over the years MyXXFLY has evolved to include services, events, community offerings, and while we are ever-changing and growing, we know that staying grounded in our why will always lead us where we’re meant to go. So that is the gestalt of MyXXFLY, more than the sum of its parts. The transformation here isn’t just about the individual, but that’s where it starts, because the capacity to heal our trauma and care about each other is easier when we love ourselves first.
So tell me new friend, how is your double-x fly?